Garden in the Hills

A place of nurturing stillness, dynamic self inquiry and stimulating interactions. We draw inspiration from many traditions and practices. Awareness, being present to whatever arises is our way of life.

Wise Empathy is the ability to perceive and stay with the feelings and needs of another. It facilitates a sense of connection, openness, expansion and relief. The examples below suppose that your friend has expressed her need for empathy - by making a complaint. In each example your friend's statement is followed by a response that does not give sufficient space to her present feelings and experience.

"I wish my housemate would clean up after himself!"

advising: "Why not just leave a big mess for him one day, then he'll know what it's like?"
solving:  "Could you ask him to leave?
distracting:  "Come out for a drink with me and you'll forget all about the state of the kitchen!"
educating: "This always happens when you don't set clear boundaries with people!"
analysing: "Hmm.. is that he is always in a rush, or is that you're more fussy than he is?"
investigating:  "Why did you do that?  What made you feel that way?"
data-gathering: "Is it just in the mornings he doesn't clear up, or is it all the time?"
diagnosing: "You probably feel like that because your mother kept her kitchen spotless."

correcting:  "Well to be fair, he usually does."
explaining: "What actually happened and the way it was…"
counselling: "Repeated arguments can be a way of avoiding dealing with issues."
devaluing: "Isn't it a bit obsessive wanting to have things clean all the time?"
discounting: "It's not such a big deal, why don't you just chill out about it?!"

one upping: "That is nothing, Jim has not cleaned up even once in our household"
comparing: "You should meet my husband, he's far worse!"
story telling: "Yes, the same thing happened to me. This one time…"
criticising:  " Actually I never seen you wash up or clean up either."
blaming: "You should never have accepted him to move in."
judging:  "It was your fault, you were too slack."
sympathising: "Yeah, it's crap isn't it when someone behaves so unfairly."
pitying: "I feel so sorry for you."
consoling: "Never mind, no need to feel upset, he's going abroad next year."

Bodhisatta Gardens

     According to the Advaita view, the single binding unity behind all, and in all that exists is the Absolute.  It is the primordial formless reality that within it creates, maintains, changes and dissolves all. Everything is the Absolute, there is nothing, which the Absolute is not.

Once the Awakened One was living at Savatthi in Jeta's Grove. The noble Rohitassa came to him late in the night, paid homage to him and asked: "Lord, the world's end where one neither is born nor ages nor dies: is it possible to know or see or reach that by travelling there?"

"Friend, that there is a world's end where one neither is born nor ages nor dies, which is to be known or seen or reached by travelling there -- that I do not say. Yet I do not say that there is an end to dissatisfaction, fear and sorrow without reaching the world's end."

Awareness Play
Garden in the Hills
Carl Jung
Wu Wei
David Whyte
Daniel Dennett
Serene Forest
George Carlin
Total Honesty

Family Constellations
The Dazzling Dark
Carlos Castaneda
Mystic Journey
G. I. Gurdjieff
Theatre Odyssey

Consciousness Cafe
Nisargadatta Maharaj
Annette Nibley
Paul Lowe
Transactional Analysis
Radical Honesty
Humanistic Psychology